Coping

Road trip prep. Kids, you're in charge of  the cookies.

My alarm went off at 4:00am—an abrupt wakeup after finally finishing packing just three hours earlier. I snoozed it once…..ok, twice, and then we shoved the kids (still half asleep) into what little space was left in the loaded car, and headed west. It was a lonnnnnnng drive across Nevada—driving into the wind the entire way, dust blowing onto our roadside break of turkey and cheese. 

Thanks to the Internet and a few pointers from friends, we had a couple “ideas” where we may want to set up camp for the next four nights-we are not usually great at making FIRM plans….we are more “general idea” kind of people. You could say we are almost always winging it.  We headed down a 10 mile dirt road towards what we knew would be THE. MOST. AMAZING. campsite ever—in the trees, right on the lake, perfect. We were tired, hungry, and ready to get settled. Last fall we bought a little pop-up trailer—we figured as often as we camp, it would be nice to get out of the elements occasionally. We have loved it so far—we are always able to find secluded places to park it off the beaten path and keep away from crowds; we had planned on this time being the same.

We could faintly see the clear blue water through the trees, and were relieved and happy to have finally arrived after a full day in the car. But then we pulled up and saw what seemed to be a “local’s only” party….and we were definitely not invited. A few cars and tents scattered around near the water’s edge—no room at the inn—and here’s the kicker, the only place to turn around was occupied by several cars. And we were pulling a trailer. Whoops. 

Robby handles these situations much better than I do—we slowly drove through—every head turned. He laughed and waved like we were in a parade “we’re from out of town. Obviously. We didn’t know this place was so popular”. I sat in the passenger seat sweating and sinking lower and lower in my seat, wondering how we were ever going to get out of this place with nowhere to turn around. We inched our way through the trees—Robby maneuvering our set up  (that all the sudden seemed like a TRAIN in such tight quarters) and finally managed our way out, using a 57 point turn. We peeled out and kicked up dust as we sped away—except totally opposite of that, because the trailer only allows us to go so fast—and laughed all the way back out to the main road. At least we gave the locals a good laugh, right!? We didn’t want to take our chance down anymore unknown roads, so we put our tail between our legs and headed towards a campground.

California!

We got camp set up around ten—it was 45* in Lassen, and we were still in flip flops and shorts and really too exhausted to do anything but crawl into bed and crash. So we chose sleep over dinner and called it a day. 

We took our time waking up the next morning, ate eggs and bacon until we couldn’t eat another bite, and loaded up our packs to head out.. We spent the next three days hiking, paddling, fishing, exploring volcanoes, and completely disconnecting from the outside world. No phone service, no work, no emails to respond to, no worries really—except how stinky our armpits were and how tangled our hair was getting--it was truly the best.

We always manage to find winter in summer.

As we packed up one evening after a day on the lake—fitting kayaks, fishing gear, granola bar wrappers and tired kids into the car, an older gentleman came over—he and his wife were from Los Angeles and driving through the area. He struck up a conversation about our day. “How was the lake? (perfect. empty.) How was the fishing? (more fishing, less catching.)”, and what really struck me, “and your kids LIKE this stuff? How do you make them do all this? How do they cope without their Playstation?” 

“Well…..this is kinda...what we DO. They like to play outside—we actually go camping all the time”. 

“You mean, you just go out into the woods?” 

“yep”………….. 

If we were living in a cartoon world his eyes would have popped out of his head and his jaw would have hit the ground. 

“Huh.”

end scene.

we had the lake to ourselves.

This conversation really got me thinking. As I type this, we are driving back after eight days on the road. We are exhausted—both physically and mentally, tired of camp food, and absolutely filthy—our best “shower” was soaping* up in a river, hoping the icy cold current would rinse away some of the grime. I miss my animals and my garden, yet  I’d happily continue on down the road—I am happiest when I’m out exploring somewhere new. It’s who we are, it’s what we do, and it’s PART of the reason my kids can “cope without their Playstation” (which by the way, we didn’t tell the guy we didn’t even have one.) 

But, it’s only part of the reason—I realize that our particular lifestyle is not for everyone, and that’s ok. But there ARE other ways to keep kids from being completely dependent on screens, gadgets, gizmos, and the need for constant stimulation and entertainment. 
Here are a few of my ideas:
(I'm not saying this is the only way to parent, it just seems to work for us:)

1. Don’t buy them screens/gadgets/gizmos/etc. Hey that’s easy—and cheap! My kids are not this special breed of children who have no desire to glue their faces to something plugged in. But it’s a lot harder to do when they don’t have access to it. They don’t have their own phone or ipad, and we have an old xbox with 4 games that they can earn time for on weekends after all their chores are done--it's GREAT bribery!  (ps. I think Minecraft is a GREAT game! So much creativity to unleash!) Do they ask for all the above mentioned stuff? Do they say “but alllllllllllll my friends have ______” They DO! And guess what I say? “I don't care!" And occasionally I like to throw in things like "because I'm the mom and I say so", and then I feel super legit. I realize that as my kids get older, this one is unavoidable, so we will:
2. Set limits. Maybe you are a cooler parent than me and your kids have a gadget or two. Great! But they don't need to have it in hand alllllllll the time. I started an Instagram account so my kiddos could post the pictures they take and share them with cousins and grandmas and grandpas (and mostly so we could print more Chatbooks!) I log them in so they can post a few photos, we look (together) at what's going on with our cousins, and then I log them out--no time wasted mindlessly scrolling, and no wondering what garbage they saw on Instagram. But they feel connected to their cousins who live far away--win win! When they want to use the computer they have to ask--I want to know what they'll be doing. 
3. Have other options. As much as I wish we could--we can't spend 100% of our time outside. We are a movie loving family and movie nights are our favorite, but I hate the tv always being on--it's such an easy "out". We've had a scorcher of a summer, and some afternoons we have to hide out in the house to beat the heat, but we are making sure to do lots of reading, writing, and artwork instead of letting the tv constantly entertain us. 
4. Don't start them so young! I will probably ruffle so many feathers by saying this, but I honestly can't believe how many babies and toddlers I see with a screen in their hand--the grocery store, church, restaurants--everywhere. I somehow raised my babies without a screen in hand (they weren't even invented yet.) And when I say that, it sounds like I raised my babies in the 1800s and just let them play with tumbleweeds, but really it was just a few years ago, I promise. Was it hard to go to Target with a 4 year old and 2 year old? OH MY GOSH IT WAS THE WORST! But did I somehow manage without attaching them to a glowing screen? I DID! And there were a fair share of public meltdowns, tantrums, whining, complaining--because guess what, they are KIDS, and that's what kids do. But if we stick an iPad in their face (and pretend to be ok with it because it's "educational"), just so we can have a peaceful grocery store experience, how can we expect them to learn to function in real life without that constant stimulation? (I ran out of breath reading that last sentence, did you?) 

I am absolutely not a perfect parent, and I pray every day that I'm not screwing these kiddos up too badly.  But I do work ridiculously hard to make sure my kids get dirty, breathe fresh air, do chores, don't rely on screens for constant stimulation, know how to be creative, have original thoughts, and entertain themselves. I would love to hear YOUR ideas on how to better keep kids connected to the real world, and not rely too much on electronic interaction. 

They seem to be coping just fine.

*I mentioned we soaped up in the river--it was the BEST, and I recommend it (but watch out for people coming down the hill--you'll have to run for cover in your skivvies). We use THESE SOAPS  --they are biodegradable and don't mess up the water and vegetation :)
**I also mentioned Chatbooks! Do you get these? It's a subscription that I use through my Instagram (you can also create books without IG, but it's so easy and brainless to do it how I do). Every 60 photos I post it sends me a notification that my book is ready--then I can edit captions, take out photos, or do NOTHING, and it will send my photo book automatically--each book costs $8. We LOVE them, and look through them so often (we've been getting them for the last 2 years)--they are great little scrapbooks. If you aren't yet using Chatbooks, go sign up and use the code SHEENA to get 20% off your order now through the end of the month.

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Where are you looking?

The view from Angels Landing in March--spring just barely springing.

In March I had a week off of school, so the kids went to grandma and grandpa's house, Robby and I loaded up the car with gear to bike, climb, hike, and get down into some freezing cold canyons, and we drove south towards the warm red rock. Our first morning there, we went into Zion to hike Angels Landing. I did this a few years ago with my friend Ali on my birthday. It was a sunny January morning with an icy desert wind--we were the first two on top, and only met a handful of people on our way down. It was perfect. Quiet and peaceful. Breathtaking, and I'll risk sounding cheesy--spiritual even. Starting my year standing so high above the desert floor as the wind whipped around me is something I'll always remember. I had hoped to re-create this experience for Robby--he'd never been up there--so we anxiously ditched our winter layers and headed for the trailhead.

And so did 17,000 other people.....at least it felt that way. We were quick up the steep switchbacks--passing iPad toting tourists and college kids in flip flops. The final climb up Angel's Landing is a steep and narrow trail that winds up to the top--often along exposed drop-offs. We got in line behind the other 23,000 people, anxious to get on top--but the process was slow. So. Slow. A solid string of hikers pointed the way to the top, filling my stomach with knots as I thought back to my near-solo experience just a few years before. "It's alright" I kept telling Robby (mostly to reassure myself) "once we get to the top you'll see how worth it this is. " So we continued on in line--up, up, slowwwwwly up.

We finally made it to the top, and my breath was taken away--but not by the awe and wonder of it all. It was more the feeling of a sucker punch to the stomach from what I was seeing. Mobs, masses, crowds of people, selfie sticks in hand, the far end covered in needless cairns, and garbage everywhere (this is a post for another time.) It was MTV's Spring Break 2016 in one of my favorite places, and I was the middle-aged lady in the midst of it rolling my eyes. We looked for a spot--any spot--where we could separate ourselves from the chaos.

We found a little tree, tucked away from the masses and sat down to have a snack and take in the view. Deeeeeeeeeep breath. The warm desert air filled my lungs as the sun kissed my winter skin. THIS is what I came here for. We talked quietly as we looked out--everything below seemed so tiny. We seemed so tiny. I love the perspective being up high can bring. For a short amount of time, I was able to forget about the crowds.....for a short amount of time.

Two girls came and plopped down beside us, music blasting out of their phone speaker. They sat there, both glued to their screens--scrolling scrolling scrolling, not once looking out at the view in front of them. This snapped me out of my hypnotic state and I begin to look around. Every single person up top was looking down--at their screen. The only time anyone looked up was to raise their chin to the perfect angle for their selfie. Robby and I got hysterical watching three guys take their shirts off and for five minutes take pictures of themselves from every angle--head turn, head turn, flex, pec dance--then they headed back down the trail--not once looking out over the cliff's edge they'd just climbed. Why'd they make the effort to hike up? They could have taken those photos in their dorm room. No one was looking up. I wanted to say "LOOK UP! SEE WHAT YOU ARE MISSING?!" Feet hanging off the cliff picture? Check. Heads hanging off the cliff picture? Check. Sitting quietly and enjoying the view, the feeling, the warm March sun......nope. Not a thing. Heads down, focused on screens.

Now I am no stranger to social media--I continually update my Instagram because guess what? I think it's fun! I love sharing photos and also seeing the world through others' eyes. But something is wrong when, as a society, we are so obsessed with social media that we start doing things JUST to show our "audience" we did them. And it's not just when we are out being tourists. It's when we are at family gatherings, date nights, hanging out with friends. I strongly believe there is a difference between just DOING something, and truly EXPERIENCING something--wouldn't you agree?

It's hard to experience something with a phone in your hand. Take your picture, yes. Please! I love capturing the places we've been--and I can't imagine what I'd do without my camera and my photographs. But then PUT IT AWAY. There is no need to scroll right now--that can wait. Instead take note on how you feel--sweaty but still have goosebumps? Are your legs pulsing from that climb? Do you feel like maybe you should have put some sunscreen on? Whoops, me too. But can you smell the desert air? Do you see how we are sitting so high that the birds fly below us? What is stressing you out--how can you fix it? How can you be better? Stronger? Are you present with the people around you? Are you present with yourself? Are you wandering with your thoughts.....or stuck on your screen?

And most importantly, are you enjoying the view?

hello?

Is blogging still a thing? I wouldn't know.....it's been a while, hasn't it? This corner of the Internet has been dark for so long I may have forgotten what I'm doing, and I often wonder, why write? Who is reading--and who cares what I have to say? Why have I been putting myself out there for so long?

My second semester of nursing school brought with it paper after paper--millions of words written late at night on mostly-boring subjects, all of which had to be carefully formatted and cited--two things that will eventually suck the soul right out of a girl. Every corrected paper came back the same--top marks for research, presentation, flow, grammar, a bunch of other boring technical stuff (except my in-text citations--I've decided I really hate APA format), and always a comment scribbled large in red, "but I can still hear your voice". So I tried my hardest to write like a robot, presenting only facts stripped of all creative thought. And finally, after enough papers, I feel like they finally stifled my voice.

The last few months I've had ideas fill my brain--it's always overflowing--usually late at night or when I'm out on the trail. I'll jot down a note on my phone or in a little journal I have, but I can't seem to turn them into anything more than just a thought. They sit there like seeds that haven't been watered. I've slowly started sorting through some of those seeds, seeing if I could make sense of them--taking time to water and find a warm spot in the sun so they can grow.

So I've been writing a little here and there--in the quiet hours of the morning, and slowly piecing together thoughts to share again. This space is so outdated and dusty--links are old and broken, there are many questions unanswered, I know. Sometimes I feel like torching the place and starting fresh.....but for now, here's a very brief update from the last 6 months. If you follow along on my instagram (@_sheenarae) then nothing is probably new to you, but for the rest of you, I present to you: 

January-June 2016 (abridged version)

January. 

Started the year in Montana, atop a frosty butte. A new semester. Hospital clinicals--placed some IVs, pulled some staples, changed bandages on an amputated leg. Watched people come out of anesthesia which is super entertaining! Gave an enema on my birthday. Yeah--I turned 33, it wasn't my favorite birthday this year--the winter was long and dark and I was like, "HOW DID I GET SO OLD?!" We climbed a lot at the gym, went south for a weekend to get on some real rock, and took advantage of all the snow--the kids are skiing like champs! 

February. 

uhhhhh......haha I can't remember much.  I think there was.....snow? My head was buried in those aforementioned papers. I played weekly pond hockey with some awesome mamas in the valley. Traded my running shoes for cross country skis. We headed south again for an icy cold campout (like frost on my sleeping bag in the morning, icy cold). Jonah got glasses. Climbed some more....

March.

Clinicals at the State Mental Hospital--I learned aLOT.....but I'm glad that's over with--phew! Robby and I took a weekend date down to St. George (more on that later). I teamed up with my friend Mike Butler and he got me lifting weights and eating waaaaayyyyyy more protein. I have been a pretty scrawny runt my whole life and I've been working hard these last few months to get stronger so I could improve my climbing--it's working! (Mike is awesome by the way if you want to reach out to him for your own weight loss/weight gain program, check out his website!) So yeah, lots of weights, more paper writing, tests. Easter was in March so I got dressed and did my hair--go me!

April. 

I took an online Statistics class that I kind of forgot to pay attention to (I need deadlines), so April was all about learning what Statistics is (still don't know), so I could ace my final and be done with it forever (did it!) Jonah turned 11 (how?!) We got some more baby chicks. I stressed out over finals. We ran away to the desert again and ate at my very favorite restaurant in the whole wide world.

May. 

I finished my first year of nursing school and didn't die! I've been out of school since early May--and it's been the BEST! I started my pre-requisites for nursing school in January 2014 and have not had a lot of time off since. The first summer I had a few classes, and then last summer I had to take my TEAS test to try and get into my program, and then I had to apply, interview, stress stress stress. Then I got IN, and had exactly one million things to do over the summer to get ready for school to start--it never felt like a true vacation with all the deadlines weighing me down. So these last few summer weeks have been nothing short of the best days ever. I've been running, biking, climbing, camping, trying to keep the weeds from taking over my garden (it's impossible), and just hanging out with my family. Robby and I see each other again--our school/work schedules were so conflicting I felt like we would sometimes just wave in passing, but now we even go on real live dates.

June.

Kids out of school! We've been to the desert, I took the kids to Montana, and we are loving summer evenings outside. Lucy got her cast off from her broken arm in May--she also turned NINE!

Biking is fun, and so are strangers who forgot to say "look here" when they take the photo. I forgot how much I love zipping through the trees on my bike.

Backyard jam sessions....

Early morning climbs with my girls....

  

....and now, we are ready for July!
Consider yourself officially updated, and maybe next time I'll dive into those seeds I have growing.

Thanks to the one person (mom) who read through this! Talk soon

*I have so many unanswered comments on here--sorry about that! I really have not been around. I also have over 3000 unread emails.....whoops. While most of them are ads and what not, some of them are from YOU GUYS, and I'm sorry, I've just had to really prioritize my life this past little while and all things internet-involved are pretty far down my list. Thanks for always being here though!

*I get lots of questions about why I'm not posting recipes anymore. We really keep our meals pretty simple and most of what we eat is already on my blog. I just haven't had any extra time to develop anything new, let alone take pictures of it. When in doubt, make eggs!

*I always get such a great response when I post the gear we love and use--I will continue to do that, and I apologize for old links that may not be taking you where you want to go. I will try to get an updated gear list for you soon!

*If I get enough questions on this post, I can do another Q&A post like I've done in the past. 

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slow days at Christmastime

"Let's get an early start". 

We talked over soup and bread Friday night--planning out our Christmas Tree hunt for the next day. We'd all been anxiously awaiting the weekend and the weather was looking absolutely perfect. 

I woke up to sunshine at seven, and thought "who needs an early start!", and went back to sleep, taking full advantage of a day off. 

No one complained. 

We eventually all woke up, Robby scrambled eggs while the kids gathered up snowpants and boots and mittens. We loaded up the dog, sleds, a thermos full of cocoa, and headed for the hills.

Not far up the mountain we found SNOW! Gobs of it! We've only had one snow down in the valley, and it didn't stick around very long....so we were excited to get out and play. We parked the car and made our way through a clearing--our tracks were the first. 

We got into the trees--shady and cool--a surprisingly welcome break from the warm sun (it's funny how 30° suddenly feels hot when you're trudging through deep snow). The sun filtered through the forest ceiling and shone brightly in one spot--lighting up a lone pine. It was missing branches and awkwardly lopsided, about 4 feet too tall for our house.
It was perfect.

The kids took turns being lumberjacks and we all yelled "TIMMMMMBER!!" as it fell onto the soft snow.

We attempted some awkward family photos, and then half carried/half dragged our tree across the clearing and back to the car. 

And then the real fun started. 

The road was covered in snow, and we were the only people out for the day. We had a sled, a tow-strap, and two kids anxious for a good old fashioned sleigh ride. 

They screamed and giggled for miles. Their little faces froze as the car sprayed them with snow.....and all they said was "FASTER!" They'd fall off, and drag for a while before they let go. As we laughed hysterically at their shrieks, I couldn't decide if we were the best parents....or the worst. The sun finally faded down behind the trees and we stopped for our hot chocolate and donuts, and helped them pick the ice out of their noses and hair. 

Robby lit every single scrawny branch, we hung ornaments collected over the years, and topped it with a star. 

I love these days when time slows down. When it's just me and my people, doing what we love. The Christmas season gets so busy--parties, shopping, eating, playing--it's all good stuff. My school is just totally ridiculously a bit crazy as we wrap up the semester, the kids have programs and projects due at school, so I'm trying my best to cut out everything we don't need--even the good stuff. If it starts to feel like "too much", I wonder if we really need it.....we probably don't. Focusing on my family and reminding myself that THESE days truly are the best days, helps me simplify. 

Slow days at Christmastime, I love this season.

How do you slow down and simplify the Christmas season?
I'd love to hear.